Fear of Traveling Alone and How to Overcome It:  A 2023 Guide For Retirees

Fear of Traveling Alone and How to Overcome It:  A 2023 Guide For Retirees

Many people have a fear of travelling alone. And as we get older, that “concern” may have compounded over time or it may even be built on old misconceptions. And let’s be clear when I say “fear of traveling alone”, I’m not talking about being medically diagnosed with hodophobia. That’s literally the morbid fear of travelling alone.

Author, Cynthia Ross Tustin – January 13th, 2023

I’m talking about mild anxiety, a nagging concern, or “limiting misconceptions” that might be holding you back from exploring the world alone. And I’m not suggesting that your concerns aren’t valid, just that you shouldn’t let them keep you from a dream adventure.

If you’ve never travelled alone, then doing it by yourself for the first time can be scary. This can be especially true if you’re newly single either through a divorce or recently widowed. Or if you’re retired and your significant other is still working. And let’s face it, the world can be a weird place sometimes. So safety, when you’re solo, is a legitimate concern at any age. And not just for women.

So, in this article, let me share some tips for how to overcome your fear of travelling alone. Some I’ve personally used (I took my first totally solo, non-business, vacation back in 2021), and others are from friends who overcame their own concerns about safety, awkward moments, and their own introversion.

How To Overcome Your Fear Of Traveling Alone

 Reframe Your Fear of Traveling Alone

What’s making you afraid to travel alone? Are you afraid of getting lost? Worried about your safety? Always travelled with a partner and felt uncomfortable with change? Maybe it’s just feeling awkward eating in a restaurant all by yourself.

Psychologists will tell you that if you’re worried about something, consider using the cognitive trick called “anxious reappraisal.” Marketing calls it “rebranding”, and your mother called it, “making lemonade out of lemons”.

Well, did you know that your brain reacts to fear and excitement exactly the same? Chemically and electronically, in your brain, fear and excitement are identical. You can decide, choose, excitement over fear.

Don’t take my word for it, Alex Korb, Ph.D., explains it thoroughly in his article Predictable Fear. Reframe that anxiety about fear of travelling alone as excitement. The trip isn’t scary, it’s a fabulous opportunity to go somewhere you’ve always dreamed of!

Think of the Positives

One of the best ways to overcome your fear of anything is to focus on the positive things that you have to gain if you push past the fear and “just do it” as they say. So first and foremost, taking that solo trip will give you a much-needed boost in self-confidence.

Place your attention on the sheer joy of seeing new places and trying new things. Everything you enjoyed about new destinations when you didn’t go alone still applies. Your tan will be equally good!

There’s an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. This is especially true if you take yourself on a cruise or a group tour. When I travelled alone, I made some great new friends because where I went, there was a very strong and connected ex-pat community. Comfort is often found among like-minded people.

Adopt an “attitude of gratitude” because you have the freedom to do exactly what you want. You are answerable to no one. I assure you, it doesn’t take long to become accustomed to making your own itinerary, and doing exactly what you want when you want to do it. You can be uncompromising without being considered selfish.

Combine all these positives together, and you head out on your trip. Not only can you find great destinations, but you might find yourself as well.

Think of Travel as an Opportunity to Reinvent Yourself

Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

Hello, it’s called a comfort zone for a reason. We like that little warm safe space we’ve carved out for ourselves. But sometimes cozy becomes cloying and hinders motivation. We can all attest to this. Do we actually prefer the “cozy”? Or does the uncozy unknown feel risky?

Putting a little distance between yourself and your comfort zone will give you some perspective on the risk. You allowed your kids to take risks when they were growing up, it helped them become more resilient and self-reliant. But no doubt you made sure they took risks safely. Helmets on bicycles. Floaties while learning to swim. Driving the family car began in an empty parking lot.

You don’t have to leave your comfort zone for long or go too far away to safely take a few risks. Hop on a plane and go visit family or an old friend in another state or province. By choosing “coach” over the couch you’ll build some confidence and self-reliance.

Solo Travel Makes You Feel Independent

Reinventing yourself from a dependent traveller to an independent traveller is about removing stress from your life. Travelling solo strengthens your independence by showing you that you have the smarts and the wits to rely on yourself. That you have the ability to get from point A to point B.

Think of the technology that we use daily. It’s purposely designed to help us be more independent. My banking app allows me to control all my finances. Your airline app allows you control over seat assignments and your place in the boarding queue. Your Uber app can get you to your hotel.

A Few Good Apps For Peace of Mind

Use a currency exchange app like Xe Currency Converter so you never have to worry if you’re over or underpaying. Use Google Translate to make sure you’re asking the concierge for concert tickets and not an aluminum foil penguin.

The FlightAware app allows you to track flights online, see a live map of a flight and check on delays, cancellations, and gate changes. Super helpful in reducing your stress if you have a tight connection or need to track your flight.

Remember, you’re taking yourself to Paris to see the art and the fashion. You’re not heading west in a covered wagon, following the stars, and hoping to reach California all by yourself.

An independent you, is a less stressed you!

Just a note about safety, I always use my NordVPN when I travel – for business or pleasure. I connect to public wifi, without it! Nord VPN makes it like browsing from home while I’m abroad, it keeps me protected in regions with low internet freedom and adds a layer of extra security when I’m banking and shopping online.
Check out Nord VPN here!

Travelling Alone Frees You From The Judgement of Others

Suggesting that travel allows you to reinvent yourself isn’t just hyperbole. Be a different you on your next vacation. Strangers have no opinions. Grow a beard. Leave your bra in your suitcase. Speak with a French accent. Wearing clothes or accessories that are completely out of the norm for you can be liberating! Solo travel is a chance for you to try out a new persona.

Who’s going to know, or care?

Knowledge Is Power

Knowledge has always been a powerful tool for reducing anxiety. So take some time to research where you want to go. And pay special attention to those nagging questions that made you concerned in the first place.

As a retired fire chief, let me let you in on a secret. Firefighters preplan buildings. We study our local structures and occupancies to prepare ourselves for potential problems. We have a plan for how we’re going to handle stressful incidents like a chemical fire at the local garden center or an explosion in the auto shop at the high school.

So, if you’re worried about your safety, then do a bit of preplanning. What safety precautions are recommended for the tour you’re taking or for the destination you’re going to?

Get to know what consular services your embassy provides. The Canadian Embassy provides a host of services to Canadian citizens from advice to legal assistance. So spend some time on your country’s embassy website, and see what they provide. It’s here that they also post security alerts and warnings, so their information is up-to-date and accurate.

Travelling By Yourself Doesn’t Mean You Have To Be Alone

If you don’t mind travelling alone, but you’re worried about feeling awkward sitting by yourself in the bar or during meals, one of the simplest solutions is to join a tour group or take a cruise for your first trip without a “plus one”. These are great options for lone travellers to take “solo” out for a test drive.

Worried about eating alone in a restaurant? Practice at home a few times before you go.

Or here’s an out-of-the-box idea, take one of your grandchildren on vacation with you if having a familiar companion would make you feel better. Granted you’re not alone, but you’re doing all the heavy lifting logistics by yourself.

If you do decide to take the grandkid(s), here are 11 Amazing Tips for Traveling with Grandchildren in 2023. And let’s face it if you can conquer your anxiety and travel for a week with a 10-year-old, then taking yourself backpacking for three months in the Himalayas will be a cakewalk!

Let’s Sum Up How You’re Going To Overcome Your Fear Of Traveling Alone

Reframe your anxiety; you’re “excited” to be travelling to Hawaii, and you’re not “afraid” to be travelling to Hawaii.

Look for the positives. Focus on what you have to gain.

Embrace travel as an opportunity to reinvent yourself.

Knowledge and preplanning will give you a powerful weapon against fear and insecurity.

Remember, travelling by yourself doesn’t mean you have to go alone. Being part of a tour group can be a great opportunity, seize it. You can even join a solo travelling community…Facebook group!

Be well, and travel with confidence and gusto. And if this post might resonate with a friend or family member, please forward it.

Cheers,

Cynthia

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